The Geek to God Syndrome

to rant: v. to speak or declaim in a violent, loud, or vehement manner

This posting is a rant. Read at your own risk.

To the Grapa/100th St. crew, especially USA Conception: I haven't been able to fully "tame down" the wording of the "four categories of men" in this country Somewhere in Asia, but the GeektoGod Gremlin to God is one of them. Here is part of the posting, as promised.

The GeektoGod Gremlin to God syndrome is not a term coined by me. I first heard it used in

Vietnam

to describe a table of slack-jawed, loud-mouth rednecks sitting at a table of young, beautiful Asian women. Everyone was smiling. Half of the smiles were real.

I probably don’t need to define this unattractive, slightly comical phenomenon that hits men of all ages who realize “Hey! If I pay, I can get laid every night!” You can find a GeektoGod Gremlin to God in every corner of Asia. He meets six or more of the following criteria:

1. is, in general, unattractive and white, middle–aged to old
2. has a lost, slightly blank look on his face
3. has found a way to live long-term in Asia, or at least a few months out of the year
4. for various reasons, (see number 8) is generally incapable of maintaining relationships with Western women
5. no tiene cajones whatsoever- couldn’t hold his own in a bar brawl nor could he (nor would he) want defend a damsel in distress
6. pays for sex, yet calls the liaisons “conquests”, especially to other Geeks Gremlins.
7. establishes long-term relationships with girlfriends (a.k.a. sex workers), the parameters of which he defines.
8. doesn’t know, nor is he interested in knowing, what a “female orga*sm” is [  * used to avoid being blocked by censors]
9. has a pubescent Asian girl on his arm. She, too, generally has a blank look. Next night: different pubescent Asian girl on his arm. Same, blank look.

Mr. Geek Gremlin has a bit of money. Or, at least, a bit more money than the residents of the host country in which he lives/visits. If you ask him, he will tell you that he’s attracted Asian women for their beauty. If you push Mr. Geek further, he will probably tell you that he also likes their submission and the attentiveness that Asian woman shower upon him. He is conveniently unaware of the power issues at play in the Western-rich-male/ Asian-poor-female relationship.

I see so many GeektoGods Gremlins to Gods in this city, but I have yet to find a Wimp to Warrior. A Wimp to Warrior begins to really SEE what’s going on in the local night clubs here in this particular country Somewhere in Asia. Cognitively, he faces what he has known all along: most of the working girls here work for pimps who keep the money, and who threaten the girls and their families if the girls don’t “put out.” The Wimp to Warrior begins to see a sex worker as a human being, not a mere morsel for his satisfaction on the Asian buffet. Rather than contributing to the comparison shopping scene (“You know, Jim, that one over there is good at __, but not so good at __. The one in the corner? I had her the other night. She’s not that attractive , but she’ll stand on her head for you all night for twenty bucks”), the Wimp to Warrior starts to get angry.

Really angry.

He puts aside is need for a release from stress or quick-fix for loneliness, and instead he thinks of his mom, his sisters, his aunts, and begins to use his testosterone for something more then banging a broad. His hor*niness is overcome by fury and one night at the E.M.B., he just can’t take it any more. He grabs the pimp, takes him out back and, in front of everyone, beats him to a bloody pulp (I’m thinking: permanent disfigurement here) and tells him if he ever goes near her or her family again, that he will personally make sure he will die regretting it. Then, this Wimp to Warrior picks up the working girl, takes her home, cleans her up, and returns her personally to her the village that she was forced to leave. She reunites with her family, and he returns to the city. Each month, for the rest of his life, he sends a bit of money to keep food in her family’s hut.

All over the world, this male fury is contagious. The Wimp to Warrior syndrome spreads quicker than AIDS. Fight Clubs spring up in every major city as foreign men and nationals put their dic*s back in their pants and use their fists to defend all women. Wooing comes back into fashion, along with a touch of modern chivalry.

I know, I know. I’m a hopeless romantic- a Camelot anachronism living in the 21st century:  naïve, perhaps, and disillusioned.

But, somewhere in the bottom of Pandora’s box there was a bit of hope.

Let’s pray the men in this country bring some, too.

Comments

[Michiel]

naïve and disillusioned?

great rant, I am all for the wooing.

I just wish that the word geek wouldn't be used to designate these sad cases; I've fought long and hard to establish my right to geek out ;)

[shamash]

There are geeks, and then there are geeks.

The no-balls kind, and then the really big hard-drive kind.
The egotistical kind, and then the "has-many-gadgets-to-share" kind.
The "I am the center of the universe" kind, and the "tagging is the center of the universe" kind.

Geektom has moved on to mean really cool guys who can fix your computer and find the program glitches and make your laptop run smoother than you ever thought possible.

I just can't think of another "G" word to replace the "geek" in the "Geek to God" syndrome. If anyone has any ideas, pass them on.

[Michiel]

Grue (very geeky term btw)
Gremlin (might be apt)
Git (very British)
... I'm out.

[Michiel]

ps. you might like this; I thought these 'four categories of men' might be some meme I missed out on so I googled for it... check out the first result when you do:
http://www.google.es/search?q=four+categories+of+men

nice ;)

[shamash]

Michiel: I really like "Gremlin to God".... it's a much better term. Now, if I could just figure out how to do that cross-out feature that I see on so many blogs, I'd be set.

LOL at the "four categories of men" link.

[Michiel]

Easy as pie:

just enclose whatever you want to strike out in a < del > blabla < / del > (remove the spaces from inside the tags, had to do that or typepad would try to render it)

< s > and < strike > work also but they're deprecated options from older versions of HTML... but they still work.

[shamash]

Hey, Michiel! I did it! My first HTML exercise! It wasn't "easy as pie", because I'm not such a cool geek like you, but I learned something.
Thanks for the tip.

[Michiel]

Way to go! You can use this acquired skill to format your text in a variety of ways; see:
http://www.websitetips.com/info/html1.html

Most are probably accessible from whatever tool you use to post to your blog, I dunno. (which makes me wonder why they left out strikeout)

[shamash]

Thanks for the webitetips link...
And: by God, I looked closer, and there IS a stikeout feature at my blog tool! You live, you learn! I could kick myself for not seeing it before... but, I got to learn a bit of html language from a someone I never met. How cool is that?

[Elly]

You claim there is a power dynamic between a white western man and an Asian woman, which is true -- but, obvious to anyone (but perhaps an envious western woman) is that fact that the ASIAN WOMAN is in power here. You are in a country where people are generally disempowered. Sleek, nubile young Asian women have found a way to employ themselves, and sometimes even move elsewhere, through the lure of sex. It's moronic to define the men they catch as "gremlins," and it's unbelievably condescending to define these women as victims, but if you insist upon that wording -- well, I hope every victim in the city finds a gremlin to whisk her away, or at least give her an easy $20.

[shamash]

I'm all for women using the "lure of sex" to "catch" men. And Elly is right in saying that some women choose (as opposed to being forced) to pursue the oldest profession in the world. (It should be noted that the Asian sex industry varies from country to country: Japan is different from Cambodia; Thailand is different from Laos and Vietnam and a certain other country that shares its border.)

Though I didn’t use the word “victim” to describe se*x workers (a term, Elly writes, that I “insist on using”), I still maintain that the majority of the se*x workers in this Country Somewhere in Asia do what they do out of desperation: they are survivors in an economically deprived country where there are few opportunities for advancement. They are doing what I would most likely be doing if I were in their shoes.

I realize my rant focused on the Western male, but, as Vienna reminded me at the S. last night, 80% of the clients of this country’s se*x workers are, indeed, domestic nationals. Vienna also maintains that the girls at the most popular nightclub here (which shall remain nameless) get $50 a night (other sources say less) and that they work independently, choosing their clients. My rant stands corrected, and three cheers to Vienna, who discussed the subject of my rant so eloquently without taking it personally. Would that he would blog... or at least comment.

As I told Vienna, I recently saw a documentary passed on to me by G.G. about the sex industry here in this Country Somewhere in Asia. It focused on the women (some who began when they were 9 years old) who do not work for themselves and who are forced to service up to 15 clients a night. Anyone who sees this documentary (and who hears some of the horror stories the se*x workers tell friends of mine who work for NGO’s) can’t help but be repulsed by the industry, including the ped*ophilia. "An easy $20?" I don't think so.

I know my rant ruffled the rooster feathers of some of the folks who live in this city. The posting generated the most visitors (though few comments!) of any posting I've made, and from what I gather, a goodly number of the Friday night expat crew have read it.

Those of us in the blogging world know the nature of rants: when bloggers call a posting a "rant", readers are forewarned that it's "venting time"; a "rant" posting is not unlike “I had a bad day” rant over a beer during happy hour.

[Tish G]

To be quite honest, and end up courting the wrath of 'feminists,' there is no empowerment in s*ex work...ever. The idea that getting money from men for the performance of sex is massively degrading to women. Even if the worker is not involved with a pimp, she is still using her physical, psychological and spiritual being in the most intimate way that she possibly can to make a freakin' buck.

When you think about it, it's very, very sad.

S*ex work is the "oldest profession" because, in history, there weren't any other professions a woman could have to make money. Money was not thought of in the same manner in, say, Ancient Greece, as it is in our time...and, besides, most of the workers in that era were slaves, too. So their money went to the House, not to them...so, it wasn't really a profession even then.

One thing that is often overlooked about s*ex work in America is that alot of it, too, is motivated out of economic necessity. The NYTimes did a story several years back about how pretty immigrants from Eastern Europe, who had difficulty with the english language, often resorted to stripping to make sufficient money not only to send home but to live on here. (I personally know of one such young woman)....

Not to mention the numbers of young working class women who go into stripping or other forms of S*ex work, finding that it pays them more than their factory worker fathers ever made. Yet the psychological and emotional toll it takes on these women is often overlooked because they have made a 'choice' to do this work and are 'empowered' by the money they receive.

S*ex work is market driven--it is also service-industry level work. And, as such, one cannot often choose who one performs for. If you cannot choose who you will perfom the icredably intimate act of s*ex with, are you ever really empowered?

Plus the simple fact that s*ex work, even legitimate stripping, is never something a young woman would put on a resume. It has the same career-numbing effect as working in the fast-food industry.

In America, we like to think s*ex work is empowering because there are lots of glamourous images surrounding it--think of the Play boy mystique. So, we are dazzled by it. But there are few women who make it to these dazzling, dizzy heights.

Perhaps where you are, the $50 a nite girls who choose their clients are the dazzlers--but, I'm sure, they are exceptions, not the rule.

Sorry 'bout the rant, but I always get a bit peeved when the naieve insist that s*ex work is empowering. That insistance usually comes from realms that know of it primarily in the theoretical and never in the personal.

[shamash]

Hi, Tish! Though I don't comment, I visit your site quite often. I find your May 15th posting,"The Joy(lessness) of Sex" to be quite thought-provoking. It relates to "The Geek to God Syndrome" quite nicely.

http://lovehopesexdreams.blogspot.com/2005/05/joylessness-of-sex.html

Good to hear from you.

[Tish G]

Hi Shamash!

glad to know you read me (and, now I know where you are, I read you too...)

speaking of posts on "the industry," here's one from the archives you might like. It got some interesting comments.

http://lovehopesexdreams.blogspot.com/2005/04/i-got-into-bit-of-disagreement-with.html

It's a topic that seems to rile alot of feathers! My friend that I mixed it up with and I decided that, even though there really is some areas of agreement, there are others where we just have to call a truce.

Believe it or not, when it comes to Americans, and if they insist on a certain view of "the industry" I will always say "sure, go check it out..." I don't think we can stop people from trying it, but letting them know there are pitfalls isn't a bad thing...

and, letting them know that in other countries, it really isn't all that glamourous (as well as sometimes being outright p*edo*philia)

:-)

[Elly]

To be quite honest, and end up courting the wrath of 'feminists,'

Your post is completely banal orthodox feminism circa Andrea Dworkin. But if you'd like to think of yourself as a fiery iconoclast, go right ahead.
It's just sickening to watch women who think of themselves as progressive perpetuate the stigmatism of sex workers. But hey, NOW and the Bush administration are with you all the way.

[shamash]

http://lovehopesexdreams.blogspot.com/2005/04/i-got-into-bit-of-disagreement-with.html

Tish's post at the above link offers an interesting perspective. She discusses the differences between the "Sexual Glamourworld" and the "Sexual Underworld." Her views are quite insightful, particularly since was once part of the industry.

Perhaps Tish thinks of herself as "a fiery iconoclast", as Elly suggests. If so, more power to her. I find the views of women who have been in the sex industry much more credible than men who "protest too much."

[Tish G]

wow! I've never been compared to Andrea Dworkin before! That's a good one! esp. since Dworking eschewed physical intimacy and I certainly don't.

Considering I worked in "The Industry" for awhile....know several people who still do, and on a very high level...well, maybe my experience and "education" both in and out of academia accounts for something.

but I can't stop giggling over the Dworkin comment.

Kind of funny, too, that Elly thinks I think I'm an iconoclast. and a firey one at that.

Oh, I feel like the apocryphal Pillar of Fire here...or am I a burning bush??

I also mentioned, Elly, that I would not stand in the way of a young American woman from going into The Industry if she chose. There is much to be learned in that world, but unless one has grounding in the worlds outside of The Industry, one can get consumed by it. I was lucky that I have been able to go into that world and come out of it without being scathed or ruined by it.

And that the actions of an American woman have a ripple effect throughout the world... the effect on others in impoverished countries may be extraordinarily detrimental to their health and welfare.

What kind of world is it where a woman's primary "moneymaker" is her ability to give a s*exual performance for the highest bidder. Because Industry work is performance, who the person *is* goes on the back burner, and who the client desires the woman to be is most important.

The American escort who makes $500 for an hour's worth of work may believe she's empowered by what she does--the performance is short, she can go back to her home, and she may even have the power to choose the client. But, truthfully, is the girl who has to "service" 15 men per day to make her quota in the legalized brothel "empowered"? I doubt it.

[Elly]

A little reading comprehension, please: I do not think you are a fiery iconoclast -- I think you think you are one. Honestly, read the post before you melt into "giggles."

. Because Industry work is performance, who the person *is* goes on the back burner, and who the client desires the woman to be is most important.

What profession ISN'T based on performance, Tish? None I can think of. Modeling, most obviously (or is that disempowering, too?), but also teaching (you're there for your students, not for you), marketing, media (you write for an audience), humanitarian work....you name it. Having a job is being useful to other people, I'm afraid. The one exception, funnily enough, is academia.

So you wouldn't stop an American from going into "The Industry," but you balk when an Asian woman wants in? Wow. That's incredibly paternalistic.

What kind of world is it where a woman's primary "moneymaker" is her ability to give a s*exual performance for the highest bidder.

It's a shitty world, actually. But that's hardly the point, and that's really the root of this discussion.
We have to work within the bounds we're given; for some people, those bounds are tragically limited. For some Asian women, right now, the best option by far is sex work. It's empowering in that context -- how could it not be, when every other choice saps the woman of agency? If the situation bothers you, work to provide more options. But don't lavish pity on women who make rational choices, or condemn men for supporting them.

truthfully, is the girl who has to "service" 15 men per day to make her quota in the legalized brothel "empowered"? I doubt it.

Gee, I don't know. Is the first-year legal assistant who has to rummage through obscure cases for 15 hours a day "empowered?" Not really; she's just trying to make a better life for herself. Much like most women who go into sex work, I imagine.

[Daniella]

Did anyone notice that this discussion is focusing on girl prostitutes? We all know that boys are also working hard, no pun intended, in the industry. Do we also consider if male prostitutes are empowered? Does this empowerment come from having male or female clients? I realize that this post started with the image of Western men surrounded by beautiful Asian women. Since this debate navigated into deeper meanings and the empowerment issue has been put on the table, it made me curious

[S*exless Offender]

Or if you really want to empower someone, try keeping your wee-Willy-Wonka in your pants and empower yourself.

Why not find other ways of improving people's lives aside from f**king them?

Surely there are better ways to bring about change for the positive without becoming HIV positive. Or would that be asking too much from men who think with their wee-Willy-Wonka...

[shamash]

I just finished re-reading my post and all of the ensuing comments.

Whew.

Lots of ruffled feathers, name calling, and strong opinions on some very complex issues.

It's like Muffins said last evening over cups of tea as we discussed the issue of people trafficking: many people (and I include myself) make stereotypical comments without complete knowledge about the subject. Muffins also agreed that s*ex workers in this country (and most other countries in SE Asia) rarely have a "choice" in their profession.

I'm not an expert in the field. But, I can learn from my friends and acquaintances who work in the people trafficking sector of NGO's here in Southeast Asia. I can also learn from people who have been in the s*ex industry.

The next time I post, the "Geek to God" post will be pushed off of the ten "Recent Posts" list. Let's take that as a sign, folks, and bury the hatchet.

[Tish G]

Elly...I've heard the ridiculous comparison of the 'whoring' of legitimate work to what goes on in the s*ex industry and find that a reductivistic argument that minimizes the realities of s*ex work. It's usually used by feminists who want us to believe that s*ex work is "nothing, really"....

feel free to fire back about my comparison of Industry work and fast food work on a resume--which was used as a rhetorical statement.

It is not paternalism to say to an American to try it and have reservations about Asians getting into it. The reason for this is that in America there are more options and more ways to *get out* of it. Perhaps it's that you know nothing of The Industry in American and of the lopsided feminism that believes every woman should sell herself at one period in time.

When s*ex and love are separated for economic reasons, the path to re-unite the two is virtually impossible to surmount. No one should have to make the choice to sever the two purely out of economic need.

Elly, what you are advocating is that Asian women separate s*ex and love for the Almighty Buck. Then what about the rest of their lives, if they survive working in the brothels??? Do you honestly believe that money is that much of a solace and comfort over everthing else that makes us human?

What you also fail to acknowledge is the loss of freedom that occurs in Industry work. To you, perhaps, this is okay as long as money is there. Asian women often lose freedom that American women do not (with the exceptions of some brothel workeres in the borderlands of Nevada and California--that's a culture unto itself.)

And, I will always say, if you personally believe Industry work to be mightly empowering, go out and try it yourself. Even in Asia, Elly, where you seem to think it is so important. Go work in a brothel yourself and see what it is like. Then, perhaps you will understand it better.

Or are you too highly placed in the society to endanger your own reputation??

[Ms. D]

Wow! Fiery comments indeed, and a wide ranging debate. I got a bit confused as to what the argument was about at times though. It seems that Elly is arguing that s*ex workers should not be stigmatised, as far as I can see neither Shamash or Tish G think that they are (from their perspective) or should be. However, I did get the impression that they think that stigmatism should be attached to the men who use those prostitutes. If Elly thinks that having s*ex with a prostitute is empowering her, then I don't quite get the point. It's not empowering her, it's paying her!
I think anyone who lives in Asia is aware that there are worse things that could happen to a woman than that she becomes a prostitute, but that doesn't make it OK, or desirable.
We can't speak on behalf of the Asian prostitutes, but all the conversations I've had with them, or research I've seen, suggests that they don't do it to be 'empowered' they do it for the money. They'd do something else if they could.

[Kristy]

Hi, found yout site though 43things.

I can vouch for lots of Gremlin to Gods in Hong Kong, well vouch to witnessing many of them anyway.

They also seem to get so messed up in their little world of fantasy that they think that they can conquer other women too (had quite a few try to hit on me while in the company of other women).

Yuckkkkky!

By the way, what the deal with referring to the country you live in as 'Somewhere in Asia'.