Birthday in Transit

Birthdays suck. Especially when you're away from your family, and mom isn't around to make your favorite chocolate cake.

I'm not sure why this birthday is so sucky, or why I'm weepy, or why I hate being reminded that I'm a year older. Birthdays have never bothered me.

But this year is a hard one, and I don't know why. It's not even a milestone year, like turning 21 or 30 or 40. It's a regular birthday. My birthday comes over summer holiday, so I'm usually traveling, and I'm usually not in the States to celebrate with my friends and family there.

I rarely get homesick. I travel home once or twice a year, sometimes once every two years. Having lived abroad for going on nine years, home is where I hang my hat; I am a citizen of the world.

But lately I've been homesick for Pennsylvania farm country in June. For the corn starting to sprout. For Mom's homemade bread. For Grandma and Pappy, for my little niece and nephew, for my sister putting trick candles on the cake, and everyone laughing because I can't blow them all out. Maybe it would just be nice to be around the folk who've known me for longer than a few months and who've seen me grow through all the awkward stages, who understand my fickle nature, and who have grown to expect my moodiness, rather than be surprised by it. Maybe I made a mistake in choosing not to go back to the States for part of my summer holiday.

Don't get me wrong: I love living Somewhere in Asia. I love that last week I had a dinner party in my new house with Italians and Brits and Germans, and not a single other American. I love that I have a community of friends from other countries who widen my eyes to other perspectives, some of whom I imagine I'll stay connected to even after we leave the country.

It's just that I'm leaving one community of friends who I love dearly in this country Somewhere in Asia, and I don't want to leave them, even though it's so see another lovely group of study pals who I haven't seen for a year. I feel torn three ways: between the city of Y., the town of Plymouth, and the county where I have my roots.

So for those of you in Y. who saw me all weepy last night at the Italian birthday dinner, forgive me. (Thanks, Hot Chick, for organizing the dinner. You're the best.) I'm having a short, momentary, emotional episode that will soon pass.

I'm just feeling a little fragile at the moment, and I'm not sure exactly why. I'll be back to my strong, shining self sometime soon.

Comments

[Favorite Sexist]

I'd say that between moving houses, packing your bags, bidding farewell and celebrating a birthday, a little fragility is allowed. Even welcomed, since I should think the opposite would be worse.

We'll see you when you get back: filled with new experiences, unpacking your bags, and happy to reconnect to this strange place.

[Fellow MSUer]

Not to worry chica, I'll be sure to show you a good time while we are in the UK together. Actually, I'm already here! I'll be in the dorms as early as the 23rd, so if you arrive early and want to celebrate your birthday with someone who understands just what you are going through, I'll be there.

As for having pangings of home, its totally natural. I go through them too, perhaps the reason why I am contemplating moving back. Sometimes its just nice to be in your native culture and in familiar surroundings. But for the rest of the time, being a global traveler sure can be fulfilling.

See ya in Plym.

[Amelia]

Arrgghhh! I missed your birthday and a chance to see you before you left? I'll try and ring tonight. I came by on the Saturday, but no answer, I wondered if you were hashing or something.
If I missed all of the above: then HAPPY BIRTHDAY chica, and you have got yourself a home made chocolate cake cheque, to be cashed whenever you feel the need.
And, of course birthdays make you homesick, because they remind you of the people who have shared them with you in the past. I hope that you will get some special memories to share this year, even if they are at a differnt time to your offical birthday.
xxxx A

[sue]

Belated birthday greetings! We celebrated solstice last night and wondered how you're doing. Fond wishes from Nancy, Lizzie, Sally, Morris, AJ and me.

[shamash]

Favorite Sexist: Even without "water in your shoes", I would have known who you were! How does it feel to come out of "lurking"? Thanks for the kind words, and good to hear from you. Squish. Squish.

Fellow MSUer: I'll be in London all day Thurs and Friday... Let's meet! Don't drive down to Plymough early.... spend it with me in London. I meet Ash on Sat for a drive down to Stonehenge.Let's meet,and bring an extra helmet!! Email me with your traveling email address.

Amelia: Sorry we missed each other. Choc cake in Y in Aug sounds great! Hold down the fort, and hang in there, sista!

Oh, Sue. I miss the Pirate Sisters, and our soltice gatherings. Last night I was at the Dome, at the very top of The State Tower (floor 65) here in Bangkok. The full moon shone bright, I was drinking a drink not unlike a Blanche Dubouis, and I thought of you all. The fact that I miss Taos, NM, is a given. It's included in the "why I feel weepy these days", even though I didn't mention it in this posting. Hugs to all of the sisters, and happy solstice!

[Lost Musings]

A belated happy B-day from Ireland! I am usually outside the country on my birthdays so I never pay much attention to them; just another day on this planet AFAIAC.

Funny thing, I'll be in London on friday too, unfortunately I'll be stuck at Heathrow airport waiting for a transfer to the NL. I hope you have a great time!

[Fellow MSUer]

Sorry slim, I didn't get your email in time to hold up the horses. I'm in Plymouth already (Wednesday) and I was already at Stonehenge (was there on the summer solstice - how cool!).

I've brought the extra helmet, just waiting for someone to take me for a ride on my own motorcycle... ;-)

See ya here in a few days.

[shamash]

Xpat: too bad we missed each other. Can't wait to take you for a ride! (no pun intended!) Am jealous of your stonehenge solstice experience.

Musings: too bad we missed being at Heathrow at the same time! I was there yesterday, and you're there today. Wouldn't that have been kind of... well... surreal to meet for coffee? Perhaps another time, since we travel so much. Safe travels home!!