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Friday, 19 August 2005

Comments

Tish G

Your post reminds me of a conversation that my friend Ruth and I keep having about how life changes as one moves from singledom to married status. She became very disillusioned that so many friends fell by the wayside after she married. I reminded her that she'd moved from the Land of the Singles to Marriedville, and the social rule are different. I also keep telling friends that when you hit The Land of Middle Age, many, many attitudes, ideas, and concepts one held so firmly in one's 20's and 30's seem to shift and change to where you find youself in an entirely new land with new mores and a new sense of self...

It sounds a bit like your ex pat status is not just a reflection of the reality around you, but also the reflection of an inner state. Nine years is a long time and much changes in a person over that length of time. The goodbyes aren't getting easier because, perhaps, you are saying goodbye to more than just people--perhaps there are goodbyes to something within yourself too.

:-)
T.

shamash

Tish: how right you are. The line "perhaps, you are saying goodbye to more than just people--perhaps there are goodbyes to something within yourself too" hit the bull's eye.

Change is something I welcome, because it keeps me from becoming static. Yet, it's something I also resist, because it's so damned uncomfortable. We're constantly evolving, whether we want to or not. And saying good-bye to certain parts of our "old" selves has to part of that change: sort of like dropping the cacoon so we can dry our wings out a bit. It's not fun, but it's necessary for transformation.

Growing pains never seem to end. But thank God we don't have to remain the same person all of our lives; we can reinvent our lives any way we choose. And that's exciting.

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