But, even more than a spider, I've been a hermit crab;coming out for a bit of social life, but hanging out in solitude most of the time.
Perhaps it's my new house, which is tucked back on a narrow lane that's lined with vines. It has a garden and a porch and sometimes, I just don't feel like leaving.
Perhaps it's my latest project (researching for my Master's thesis), which leads me to spend hours at my favorite coffee shop where I sit alone and drink too many cappuccinos and highlight academic articles with neon yellow pen until by eyes blur.
Perhaps I'm just sad that people like Principal Princess has to leave, and I will miss how she talks a mile a minute and dances so uninhibited on the dance floors all over Y.
Maybe it's just been a long time since I spent time in hermitage, which used to be an annual ritual of mine.
Whatever the case, I'm feeling a bit guilty for neglecting my friends, who I'd love to see, but can't seem to muster the energy. In many ways, writing is a solitary endeavor.
And, it's things like this that make me feel that maybe I'm not so strange, after all. And, it's poems like the one below (by Naomi Shihab Nye) that remind me of how important it is to honor that still, small voice that says, "Stay home tonight, and just BE."
NAOMI SHIHAB NYE: The Art of Disappearing.
When they say Don't I know you? say no.
When they invite you to the party
remember what parties are like
Someone telling you in a loud voice
they once wrote a poem.
Greasy sausage balls on a paper plate.
If they say we should get together.
say why? It's not that you don't love them any more.
You're trying to remember something
too important to forget.
The monastery bell at twilight.
Tell them you have a new project.
It will never be finished. When someone recognizes you in a grocery store
nod briefly and become a cabbage.
When someone you haven't seen in ten years
appears at the door,
don't start singing him all your new songs.
You will never catch up.
Walk around feeling like a leaf.
Know you could tumble any second.
Then decide what to do with your time.